Me: Hi Arthur, how you doing today?
Me: ah you know just been sitting inside this room here literally ALL DAY haven't done anything
probably spoken a total of six words all day to my neighbor cause I had to give him his bowl and pot thing back. other than
that I guess I'm okay probably about to go get some fresh air you know take a break from doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING I feel like
I'm slowly rotting
Me: Wow, good stuff. So what's your plans for this weekend?
Me: man see the weird thing is, and I don't even think this is right, but the weird thing
is, the weekend makes NO difference to me. like on Sunday some of the stores are closed but thats about it I mean there is
no difference so the question might as well be what are your plans for a few days from now
Me: Okay well you want to do the questioning, or let me do the interview?
Me: well I kind of am doing the questioning as well if you think about it because we're both
me and man this is starting to sound really like crazy like I'm talking to more than one of me like listen to that last one,
"we're both me". wow. that's some crazy stuff. why am I even doing this right now?
Me: It could be worse, you could be doing something horrible.
Me: see like not only is that a relatively moronic thing to say, that's not even a question
but I'm not gonna criticize it because that would be criticizing me you know
Me: This has to be one of the worst interviews I have ever read. Then again, it's the first
one I've ever given and responded to at the same time. So, Arthur, what have you been thinking about today?
Me: whew what a question, eh! ummm, just the same old stuff you know like, man I can't do
this right now I'm getting really seriously hungry.
Me: We're almost done here.
Me: thats good because this is ridiculous. what have I been thinking about? yeah, ummm, like
been thinking about how if I had a bunk bed it would make a lot of sense you know because it would save a lot of room in here.
then again if I had running water it would make a lot of sense cause I could shower you know
Me: Yeah, definitely.
Me: Can you at least let me finish answering your stupid question without interruption?
Me: Yes, of course, I apologize. Continue.
Me: and so like I was thinking how I'm me and yet why am I not someone else? like what's the
difference? and if I really tried, couldn't I just become someone else? I mean I could really if you think about it I mean
people have done harder things you know like built huge bridges or something or started some massive company you know and
okay maybe it was a group effort but someone started it all, someone had an idea that grew and they got someone else involved,
to me, that first person is who deserves the real credit like even if they did half the actual work and the person number
two was really good at planning and all that well they wouldn't have even had the idea without the first person. they were
nothing. just some guy with good planning skills and maybe a bit of belief. and you gotta give credit to belief but it's still
nothing until person one came around you know and revolutionized the world of bridges or whatever so to answer your question,
yes I do think it would be possible to become someone else. my question is, would it be worth it?
Me: Hmmmm. All very uninteresting and confusingly idiotic. Well, as the final question,
is there any advice you would give to your fans? you know what forget it I'm going to answer this myself because
it doesn't even matter because I am Arthur and everyone knows that I'm interviewing myself. well, my advice is this: all those
people that seem like they have been randomly placed in your surroundings, they have been. they represent the nothingness
and the hopeless pointless escalator that is your life. like think about it, there's nothing more to the world than those
people. but at the same time, you are them. you are one of them and all of them. you see yourself as a separate being because
you see it all as just scenery along the escalator ride, it's just another part of you and nothing. I'd like to thank
everyone who reads this. and everyone who hates this. And my neighbor for letting me borrow his bowl and pot thing even
though he can't speak English and won't ever read this. and of course I'd like to thank myself for allowing me the opportunity
to interview myself.
Now Go Look In The Mirror And Say I Love You
